Skip to Content

Standoffish People

Face reading has become such an automatic part of my interface with people and my environment that I always notice traits as part of looking at someone. For example, recently I went to dinner at an upscale restaurant and immediately picked up on the really high eyebrows and the fine skin and hair of our waiter.

He was attentive of course, and well trained, but there was a distinct air of aloofness which I attributed to his natural tendency to be standoffish and extremely quality oriented. You won't find this combination falling all over themselves to be friendly to anyone. In fact, you must prove yourself (over time) to be worthy of their attentions beyond what is necessary for civility and the job.

One of our party members (an astrologer) kept trying to break through his reserve, telling us with a laugh, "I can't help it, my Libra moon wants to charm him and win him over."

I gently suggested she was wasting her charm. Unless she intended to frequent the place and invest in a long term campaign of proving herself to him, her efforts would be for naught. It absolutely would not happen in one evening.

Why? There is a natural tendency for high eyebrows and fine skin and hair to need space with strangers and people they don't know well. You can think of this combination as having a Royalty Demeanor. To them, nothing is more of a turn off than someone who is too friendly when they first meet them. They are rather revolted by the non-discriminating, (and to them) low-class approach of such ready inclusiveness of strangers. And they hate to be touched by anyone they don't feel close to. Unfortunately, they are often considered "snooty" or "ice queens" and the like. They don't mean to be. It is just their nature to need the space and time.

A perfect example of the type from literature is Mr. Darcy in Jane Austen's Pride and Prejudice. It's very telling when he says, "I'm not comfortable with people I don't know well."

In terming these people as standoffish, we are not being judgmental: just realistic about who they are and what you can expect in terms of behaviors.

The beauty of this kind of insight into people is acceptance from a place of clear-sighted observation. It's rather like not thinking a cat should act like a dog. When you recognize the traits, you are not surprised or angered by typical behaviors. You know what they require and can choose to go there... or not. So, you take it in stride as a face reader and are grateful that they are doing exactly what you would expect.

After all, it's validation of the craft.

Comments

I agree. For years people

I agree. For years people have looked at me as stuck up because I never socialized much at work or school and the reason is because I don't trust people and I am shy but I HATE when people go out of their way to be friendly. Its uncomfortable and a huge turn off. I truly believe it runs in my family. My father's side. I have an uncle who keeps to himself but he is very successful and has been married to the same woman for over 30 years. My point is, as you said, standoffish people don't trust just anyone; you have to prove yourself to them and we are born that way.